smokeheads extract #1

OK, so every day this week I’m going to run a cheeky wee extract from Smokeheads. If you like what you read, feel free to spread the word. And you can always buy the damn thing here.

First up is the very short prologue.

Smokeheads, extract #1

Blood roared in his ears and his heart thudded as he scrambled across the ice.
Behind him, thousands of heavy shapes filled the night sky and covered the frozen loch, panicked birds creating a mayhem of flapping and crying. From somewhere amongst them a flare sent fingers of violet light searching across the land. He ran on, desperate to escape the nightmare chasing him.
He looked ahead for his friends, but there wasn’t enough light to make anything out. He struggled to breathe as panic forced him onwards, his legs aching and head pounding.
There was a low, heavy creak and the ice split up ahead, slivers of black reaching towards his feet. The ice gave way under him and he plunged into freezing water, the breath hammered out of his body.

He grabbed and scratched at broken shards of ice as he went down, the shock of the cold tensing his muscles and sending spasms through him. His head went under and his face burned.
Thrashing his way to the surface with stiff arms, he tried to call out, but his lungs were empty. He sank, gulping water as he went.
His body jerked as he tried to resurface. His chest was ready to burst as he flailed and thrashed through jagged chunks of ice. His head cleared the water and he thought he saw a hand held out towards him.
He tried to reach for it but missed. He felt his body being dragged back under, the cold sucking the life from him and setting his nerves on fire.
Steeling himself for one last effort, he thrust his body upwards, hoping the hand was still there, hoping someone would save him, hoping there was a way out of this.
He pushed for a final time with every inch of effort he had left, stretching his hands up and out of the water, searching for something to hold on to.

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there’s no ‘e’ in whisky, for fuck’s sake

Right. Just want to get this pedantry off my chest. Dunno if I mentioned it before, but my novel Smokeheads just came out. It’s set against a backdrop of whisky. I have lost fucking count of the number of times people have reviewed it on blogs, in print, on Amazon, whatever, and referred to the ‘whiskey’ content. THERE’S NO FUCKING ‘E’ IN WHISKY, PEOPLE.

It’s very simple, ‘whiskey’ refers to Irish or American stuff, ‘whisky’ refers to ALL other whiskies around the world, including Scottish. Got it? I just did a ‘whisky’ count in the novel and the word appears in there 78 times – so presumably reviewers saw the word spelled correctly 78 TIMES, then just wrote it a different way themselves for a laugh. It’s a weird mental blind spot.

Of course, I realise this is meaningless in the overall scheme of things, and I hugely appreciate all the reviews and interest, it’s just gotten on my tits something terrible.

So, one more time, it’s:

With no:

Right, rant over. Carry on.

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smokeheads review on curious joe

A pretty sizeable review of Smokeheads just popped up over on the Curious Joe blog, the review written by Euan McClymont. It’s generally pretty positive, but is most notable for saying this:

…but it’s after the collapse of the business plan that the real drama of the novel begins, involving car crashes, bootlegging, corrupt cops, night time chases in the snow and a whole heap of gory violence which I won’t spoil for the reader by detailing here.

Then they proceed to include a video of me reading the whole heap of gory violence they don’t want to spoil for the reader. Nice work.

Oh, and also, at no point does Roddy snort coke off the dashboard of the car, he snorts it from his hand. Snorting it from the dashboard while driving would, indeed, be impossible.

Anyway, thanks to Euan and Hamish over there, and more Smokeheads news soon, peeps.

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smokeheads on kindle for £1.99

Just spotted that the Kindle version of Smokeheads has plummeted in price to £1.99 over on Amazon. Dunno when or how this happened, or how long it’ll stay like that, so my advice is get on that shit like a dog on beetroot, as my mate Schregg would say. Click on the pic.

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smokeheads press round up, part whatever

Another great piece of coverage for Smokeheads appeared at the end of last week in The Press and Journal, in a big feature on the Ullapool Book Festival. There were also mentions in the Ross-shire Journal and The Highland Times – rocking the north of the country big-stylee, it seems.

Oh yeah, fuck, and I never posted about the thing in The Courier, did I? An amazing, in depth interview in the paper as a preview of my event at The DCA the other week. Massive thanks to Jen Cosgrove for being so nice about me and the book.

And there was another review of Smokeheads slipped in under the radar recently, on the What Does John Know blog.

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do-it-yourself brain surgery, now on video

Aye so, last week I linked to the audio of my performance at Words Per Minute 11, reading a particularly nasty bit of Smokeheads. Now, thanks to those ultra-organised WPMers, there’s video footage of it. Ignore the fact it’s called ‘Wods Per Minute’, I have no idea what a ‘wod’ is. Also, ignore the ironing board references at the start, you won’t get it unless you were there.

Anyhoo, here it is. Don’t watch this while snacking:

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scots whay hae on keep it afloat

What with all my wanderings around the country over the last few days (huge thanks to the Ullapool Book Festival and the Fence Homegame!) I haven’t had a chance to draw your attention to this little beauty of a review for my EP ‘Keep it Afloat’, courtesy of that fine, fine blog Scots Whay Hae. Cheers to Alistair over there for his kind words, the choicest of which are: ‘Keep it Afloat has an honesty that few of Johnstone’s contemporaries would dare, and it still has you on your feet by the end.’ Yowzer!

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do-it-yourself brain surgery, courtesy of wpm

OK, so I did a reading recently at the wonderful Words Per Minute alongside writers Katy McAuley, Margaret Callaghan and Amy Burns, and singer songwriter Michael Cassidy. I read the nastiest bit of Smokeheads, involving some DIY brain surgery. You can listen to the whole event over here. Beware, my bit is really pretty fucking nasty.

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scottish music blogs, i thank you

Just a quick shout out to various Scottish music blogs – my debut solo EP has only been out for a few days and several of these fine folks have given it a mention, so cheers to Aye Tunes, Peenko, Jockrock and Manic Pop Thrills – hope y’all liked the music, and I’ll keep you posted on live dates to come.

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fence homegame

Well, looks like I’m playing the wonderful, amazing Fence Homegame this weekend. Yay! Bit of a last minute johnny, but I think I’m doing a turn on the Sunday afternoon sometime. Hotfooting it down from Ullapool, where I’m appearing on the Saturday night. I suspect I will be hungover. Ho hum.

If you don’t know about Homegame, where the hell have you been? Click on the pic above to find out all about Fence and their awesome festival. At this year’s do there’s the likes of Josh T Pearson, Slow Club and Jon Hopkins, as well as all the usual Fence regulars.

As a wee appetiser / reminder, here’s a clip of me playing a King Creosote song with the man himself and Vic Galloway on backing vocals – I think this was back in 2007. We fuck about a bit at Homegame, so we do.

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